Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days…

What you can do or think you can do, begin it.

For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it.

- Goethe 1749-1832

I just discovered a pattern of mine.

I get a dream or goal.

I discover what I need to get that dream/goal.

I am certain if I only had X I’d be able to start working towards my dream or goal. Not achieve my goal but start to work towards my goal.

I struggle to get X, I get X. Instead of implementing/starting to work towards my goal, I find I also need Y before I can start working towards my goal. My plans now change to go for Y instead of my dream or goal.

I know these are hurdles I place in my own way. Some are legitimate, most are not. They’re just part of some kind of perfectionistic procrastination.

If I’m really ambitious (aka “mental”) I’ll create a long list of what is in my way before I can work towards what I want. I’ll need X, Y, Z, AA, and BB….. then it should be a slam dunk when I start to work on my dream. With those items my task will go from “impossible” to very easy. That’s what I tell my self.

Wow.

This habit/pattern crops up in my life again and again.

I have no idea where it came from.

It must have come from a decision I made as a child to explain a frustrating experience I was having.

A childish decision or rule about life I decided was true based on a childish (incomplete) view of the world.

That decision/rule now has an overpowering super-overlord Ace-of-Spades (trump card of all trump cards) status in my decision making process.

Now all I need to do is to melt away that over-riding decision-making rule that no longer serves me.

But first I think I’ll go eat something chocolate.